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Dear Santa 3rd Reviewer,

On the whole, I have been a good student this year. Please accept all my papers this new year!

Naughty List

  • Printing out way more papers than I read
  • Finding empty seminar rooms to take an afternoon nap in
  • Thinking some seriously mean things about the research group that scooped me
  • Stealing food from faculty meetings before they end
  • Pretending to be interested in companies at conferences so I can get it the free Moleskins they give out
  • Reading only the introduction and conclusion sections of papers for half of our lab journal clubs
  • Whining to other grad students

Nice List

  • Teaching genetics to a couple of undergrads who now appreciate the wonders of automating tasks
  • Waking up on time for every single 8am talk
  • Extending a listening ear to other whining grad students
  • Not asking anybody when they’re graduating
  • Not letting extra food from seminars go to waste
  • Volunteering to clean the lab fridge
  • Skipping the first day showing of Fantastic Beasts to finish up my data analysis

Be kind, Santa.

Happy Holidays!